My proudest moment was always and probably only during our fitness tests – not the fitness portion, per se, but rather the BMI (body mass index) test, in which I prided myself on having a lower BMI than the rest of the girls in class. Nevermind the fact that my BMI was indirectly related to my performance on the rest of the fitness evaluations.
While I could barely run a mile without heaving in high school, I’d like to think that, now, gyming it 5 days a week has turned me into the runner of my dreams. You know, the kind who could throw on shoes and run for miles while dreaming up new ideas and goals for life…and more importantly, with all the right gear: belt fitted with tiny water bottles and tubes for drinking coming down from my visor.
This morning was my chance. It was Guatemala’s annual 5K Carrera Arcoiris (Rainbow Race for children with cancer), and it was my chance to let all that gyming prove itself. I was well aware that my grey New Balance tennis shoes would not cut it. Besides, they were about 5 years old and probably did not look as cool as they did in my mind.
So yesterday I settled on a pair of $100 Asics, on sale, and recommended as the best running shoes ever. Look, I’ve never spent much more than $60 on shoes, with tax, so this was something of an investment in my soon-to-be running career. Not only that, but the sight of the Asics line of running shoes nearly made me cry as I longed to jump ship over to the New Balance side. I guess Asics believes that style should be sacrificed for function, that the two things cannot be married…or even dating. But what was worse than seeing the shoes was needing to be in an athletics store, with a poor eager Guatemalan salesman, for longer than 5 minutes. With fortune, the model was in my size 6, so I took the shoes and ran. Figuratively.
These shoes, I was certain, for all the pain that I had to endure just looking at them, would make me the runner of my dreams. I would be the 5K champion.Before the exciting conclusion, I must preface it with three things: 1) I am currently on the 3rd day of a typically 7-day illness. Don’t ask me how I know this is a 7-day illness, I just do. 2) I have asthma and on the way to the race, I realized I forgot my inhaler. This 7-day illness is part respiratory so I knew that that would not bode well. Nevertheless I thought my shoes would carry me through, possibly even curing my asthma. I mean, I think $100 on a Guatemalan salary should at least do that.
And the 3rd thing I wanted to mention is that I KNEW, prior to my run, and admittedly even while thinking about this blog entry, that my theme song would be Belle & Sebastian’s “The Loneliness of a Middle Distance Runner”. I knew that would be mentioned in this entry, but what I didn’t anticipate was that the moment two of my friends would race off without me, that that very song would begin to play on my Ipod. There I was - between three of my friends who were off to finish the race and another friend behind me who was struggling with a bad knee - laughing, wheezing, and staring at my ugly new running shoes that didn’t feel any better than my ratty old New Balances.
The shoes didn’t make me the runner of my dreams. I didn’t come up with any brilliant ideas for work or develop any worthy new goals for life. I wasn't about to start a running career or start pounding the pavement every morning. The gels in the Asics only helped me to run a little farther, but my shins still begged me to pause and my ankles asked for their old friends back. Maybe next time, if I’m in tip top condition, these new shoes will show me what they’re made of. Or maybe I just need some running socks.
